Against My Will

As a child, in a Catholic school,  I was taught (against my will) about venial sins and those mortal sins that could send me to Hell for Eternity. But there was a purgatory I could go to where my sins could be expunged away.  I vividly remember at the age of seven being told by a nun that if I ate a piece of meat on Friday and died that night –-> I will burn in Hell forever. To underscore how ridiculous this can be in a child’s mind, one Friday I consumed vegetable soup. After swallowing the soup my sister told me the label said there were beef balls in the soup. Wow! I had committed a mortal sin. I begged God to not let me die that night so I would not go to Hell. I was taught about original sin, virgin births, winged angels, the evils of sex, and on and on ad nauseam. I was taught the dualistic concepts of heaven/hell, saints/sinners, and good/evil. A young gullible mind can be tainted and trained to believe the unbelieveable –> to think the unthinkable. Unconscionably, this Pre-reformation nonsense was being promulgated and indoctrinated into the minds of 20th Century children. Why, tell me why would any religion that taught there is a loving God burden the mind of a child (or adult with a childish mind) with such asinine beliefs? Why are so many Christians unchristian? Why are they so angry, hateful, bigoted, fearful, and burdened with a schadenfreude trait towards anyone daring to differ with them theologically? I was first visited with religious wrath by a nun when I was 16. I was a junior at St. James High School, and a friend of mine and I skipped out of Mass. Sr. John Mary caught us, and stupid concrete thinking me said we were looking for our books in the bushes. That “Christian” made my life miserable for the rest of the year with her dirty judgmental stares. Unlucky me had her for my algebra teacher that year. Looking back on it now I think this was one of the initial cracks, and the beginning of the end that instituted my rebellion, nullification, and final deliverance from an unfashionable supernatural worldview.

against my will

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