I want to take one more shot at the idea of how difficult it is for humans to be in a lenghty committed relationship. The vast majority of us have experienced several times falling-in-love: the pseudo-love phenomenon. The majority of us have experienced a few times growing-in-love: the basic-love of belonging. Pseudo-love can die quickly. Basic-love can die too. Are we now at a 50% divorce rate in Western societies? And, I ask how strong are the 50% of marriages and relationships that remain? Do basic-love relationships burn out after 7 years, 10 years, or maybe 15 years? Is Shirley Maclaine right when she says, “the basis for a long-lasting marriage, is an open relationship?” For Frank Tallis, “evolutionary theory explains the puzzling feature of love — its relative brevity,” and “thus intense, passionate love might only be sustainable for a few years.” (2004) Sustainability requires the ongoing development, reinforcement, and ever refinement of the basic-love conditions of —> acceptance, mutuality, attention, nurturance, and action. With the development, reinforcement, and refinement maybe a rare number of couples can experience the human phenomenon I prefer to address as the deeper-love conditions of intimacy, union, devotion, respect, and commitment. Thus, I ask “Does the Seven-year-itch have any validity?”
