Basic-Love Level

In previous posts, I introduced the idea that the human need to love and be loved can be viewed as having levels.  The Pseudo-Love Level is a false kind of love: i. e. infatuation, love-sickness, and falling-in-love (review previous posts).  The Theory of Balanceology denotes Basic-Love as the next level of love. The Basic-Love Level is the opposite of a pseudo short-term falling-in-love, because it is long-term growing-in-love. Ideally, over time two people grow from a me-love (self-focus), to a we-love (we-focus). Growing-in-love is taking our Belonging-Need to a more advanced level. It involves balancing-out the distance between the Self and another person. I view love as a maturational process that grows and deepens over time. When I was young, I just didn’t realize the time-and-effort it takes to love a stranger. For Robert Nozick, “what is common to all love is this: your own well-being is tied up with someone you love.” (1989) Paul Tillich said, “Erich Fromm has fully expressed the idea that the right self-love and the right love of others are interdependent, and that selfishness and the abuse of others are equally interdependent.” (1952) A hero of mine, Erich Fromm calls love an art, and in the Art of Love (1956) he identifies his four powerful elements of love —> care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge. I will use the word condition instead of element. In a post to come, I will elaborate on the Theory of Balanceology’s 5-conditions of basic-love (growing-in-love).  Feel free to comment and give your views on what I posted here.

growing in love

3 thoughts on “Basic-Love Level

  1. I agree with you Mr. Johnson that love grows. My contribution is that love is a decision, we decide to commit ourselves into the act of love and love ipso facto isn’t what we have nor what we say but definitely what we decide to do. Hence as human beings we are not always perfect and so when we decide to love we follow it up with patience and consistency. At the same time so long as love isn’t what we have but as creatures of love we make effort to love and the process involve is gradual, that is to say we follow it stage by stage. love being a human effective impulse that sets the will in motion towards object of desire is associated with words like patience, endurance, kindness, charity, feeling, passion etc. However as finite beings we develop and acquire these characteristics of love in a gradual and consistent manner and from there love grows.

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