Post coitum omne animal triste est

In recent posts I have been discussing that we humans our born with  a desire to experience. express, and satisfy a  sexual need.  However, I suggest this need cannot be satisfied by promiscuity.  Mindless sex (endless obsessive and compulsive sexual expression) might give temporary sexual release and relief but it probably isn’t the best path for true sexual fulfillment and satisfaction. I profoundly agree with Mark Epstein that, “sexual passion must be lived to understand its limitations, fantasies of gratification of unfulfilled needs must be understood as fantasies in order for actual gratification to be appreciated.” (1995) Otto and Mann refer to the commodity-oriented person (1976) In a sexually repressive, yet pornographic culture such as ours sexual wants can be easily obtained. For the commodity-oriented person the goal is self-gratification and sexual relief. However, this relief is only temporary and is followed by another, and another, and yet another round of sexual  expression and relief. Ultimately, most individuals will come to the conclusion that with mindless-endless sex something is missing. Unbridled sexuality is usually about trying to fill an unbearable void in one’s life —> some need is not being satisfied. For mindless-endless sex the saying, “post coitum omne animal triste est,” or “after sexual intercourse every animal is sad,” seems to apply.

For Erich Fromm, “the search for the sexual organism assumes a function which makes it not very different from alcoholism and drug addiction. It becomes a desperate attempt to escape the anxiety engendered by separateness, and it results in an ever-increasing sense of separateness,  since the sexual act  without love never bridges the gap between 2 human beings, except momentarily.”  (1956)



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