Belonging – Romance

The Theory of Balanceology’s Belonging-Need includes romantic connections. I describe the romantic dyad as a process of two individuals ever so slowly emotionally and psychologically coming closer together. The romantic dyad is the linkage of two individuals gravitating towards each other in what they hope becomes a meaningful relationship. Colman advanced the notion that, “the 2 person relationship is the keystone to human linkage.”(1975) In romantic linkage two strangers are searching for attachment and affiliation with the goal of getting to know each other. Dyadic connections concern 2 separate individuals having 2 unique personalities, 2 distinct temperaments, 2 different worldviews, and 2 solipsistic views of reality who are attempting to connect emotionally, psychologically, and maybe sexually. Dyadic connections surely involve managing and coming to terms with all the differences that exists between two people.  It is two strangers performing a pas de deux (intricate dance) in their attempts at attachment and affiliation. This delicate dance is a question of balance, because in the dance we have to decide how to balance-out our Self-Needs and our Belonging-Needs with another person. Colman maintained that, “to merge with a single other in the dyad is frightening for many individuals. It requires trust of one-self and others.”  (1975)


2 thoughts on “Belonging – Romance

  1. Romance at time idealistic full of expectations and many times unrealistic. Visual clues at first can be a magnet to attract two people. Time can cement their love or set them apart but work and efforts come into play if it’s to last a life long. It takes two to tango.


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